The End of the World

by Alex in Pre-trip, Epigrams and Interludes

We're living in the End Times.

The end of the world. After months of planning, years of saving and lifetimes of dreaming, Tash and I have reached the endzone of our plans. In less than 2 short weeks, our lives as we know them will change permanently. Our world is ending, about to be replaced by a whole new world of airports and hostels and backpacks and bus tickets. This change has been a long (long!) time on the horizon, but now it's finally here. And it's exhilerating - and terrifying - and awesome.

The change from a plan into a reality isn't a smooth one. Not by a long shot. It doesn't flow like a river, swift and sure and inevitable. It moves more like a zombie - in slow, shuffling lurches punctuated with long pauses and occasional missteps. But sooner or later, it will catch up to you, and your once-far-off dreams of travel become an immediate, shambling reality - a reality that you have to face before it knocks you down and eats your brains.

That similie may have gotten away from me a bit. 

photo by: aeviin

Nevertheless, it occured to me recently that our life while travelling is going to be a series of 'first's - first time in Thailand, first time sleeping in a dorm with 19 other people, first time getting yelled at by a foreign official in a language I don't understand. And that's good. Firsts are exciting. Firsts become memories, which become stories, which all come together to make up life. But what I'm realising now is that our life at the moment, in the end times, is a series of lasts. The last day at our jobs. The last movie we see at our local cinema. The last time we see each of our friends. The last time we call somewhere home.

Don't get me wrong. The End Times are busy, hectic and exciting. There's still so much we have to do, so many things to organise, and the dreams we've worked so hard for are so close we could reach out and touch them. But in the back of my mind, I can't help but feel slightly nostalgic. For every experience we're about to get, we have to give something up. We get to meet new people, but have to say goodbye to the people we love. We get to go to awesome places, but we won't be part of the neighbourhoods. We get to have all of our exciting firsts. but for every first, there's a last.

I know what some of you are probably saying. "Alex, these changes aren't going to be forever! You'll settle back down eventually! You'll still keep in touch with people while you're on the road!" And while that may be true, it's not the same. After enough time, coming back to Australia or seeing the people we love won't be an 'again' - it will be a new first.

I also know what a lot more of you are probably saying. "Jeez, what the hell's wrong with this guy? You'd think he was dying or something, with all this depressing talk of finality and lasts and stuff!" And that's true too. Am I being overly dramatic about this? Is it easier than ever before to stay in touch with people from overseas? Yep. The world is smaller than it's ever been, and long-term travel is becoming an increasingly popular way of life. But that doesn't mean I'm not counting the days, always wondering, 'will this be the last time we do (whatever) before we go?' That's just our life right at the moment.

That's just life at the end of the world.

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