Hell is a Hostel Kitchen

by Alex in Food, Gear

I think food is important. I may have mentioned this once or twice.

I think food is the most important part of day to day life – so much so that I decided to do it for a living. As a chef, I get paid to cook for people all day.

As a chef who also backpacks, however, I also frequently have to cook in hostel kitchens, surrounded by people who – without wishing to be rude to anyone – don’t seem to know what they’re doing.

And it bugs me.

photo by: hannumakarainen

I know, I know – I’m just being a snob because I’m professionally trained and most travellers aren’t, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to grab some backpackers by the shoulders, shaking them and screaming “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!”

Not that I’ve actually done that to anyone (yet), but I feel like I’d be well within my rights to do so. Because I’m qualified to – I have the certificate and fancy hat to prove it!

photo by: greychr

So, what are they actually doing wrong?

What do I consider to be the essential basics of cooking in hostels?

I’d like to try and put some of my most common gripes into words – who knows, there might be some helpful tips for new backpackers to come out of this. At the very least, you might find it entertaining to watch me tear my hair out in frustration for a few minutes.

photo by: stavos

First and foremost, be aware of your surroundings. This is the very first thing they teach you at chef college, and it’s vital. A kitchen, no matter how old or empty or poorly equipped, is basically the room where you put all of your knives and fire and dangerous equipment in one place.

While I’m yet to see a careless someone accidentally get stabbed, there have been so many close calls that I’m sure it’s going to happen one day.

So it’s ridiculously important to be aware of who’s around you, who’s standing right behind you and especially who’s off to one side waiting for their turn on the only cooktop while contemplating the possible applications of the knife they’re holding.

photo by: willposh

…which leads me neatly to my second point – don’t hog the oven/pans/cooktop. Hostels can have dozens or even hundreds of guests, most of whom will all want to cook and eat at fairly similar times. Finding one person taking up all of the room or equipment when you and 40 other people are trying to make dinner after a full day of travel is infuriating, and trust me, that’s not a position you want to be in.

The best way to avoid this is to keep it simple – pasta, rice, tinned sauces and precooked meats are all generally cheap, quick and easy to make without taking up too much space or using too much stuff.

Okay, now that the basic etiquette is out of the way, let’s talk practicalities. There are a couple of things I’d recommend everyone carries with them while travelling. Well, okay, we have a whole page of things we recommend, but I mean specifically food-related things.

photo by: tim

First, a small jar of mixed herbs. Most hostels will provide free salt and pepper in the kitchen, but having some herbs on hand can be great for adding just a little bit of flavour and a touch of hominess (home-ey ness?) to a meal.

You can usually find mixed herbs for around $3-5, and a 35g jar isn’t going to add too much weight or take up too much room in your pack.

The second thing we always try to have on us is a packet of dried stock cubes. I’ll usually have two packets in my bag at a time, one beef and one chicken.

Again, stock cubes are perfect for adding extra flavour to pasta, sauces and rice, and in the worst case scenario, if you’re too strapped for cash to make even the most basic meal, you can mix them with hot water and have yourself a cup of soup.

Lastly – and this might be a bit more difficult – we’ve taken up travelling with a small Swiss Army knife.

You don’t need one of the massive survivalist models that can unfold a saw, scissors, magnifying glass, tinderbox and portable DVD player – ours is just a basic model with a knife blade, can opener, corkscrew, a few other gadgets and, most importantly, fork and spoon attachments.

Like I said, carrying a knife might be trickier, especially if you’re crossing a lot of tightly controlled borders or flying with only carry-on baggage, but if you can do it, carrying a knife that doubles as a spare set of cutlery can be worth its weight in gold.

Having these three things in your backpack won’t necessarily turn your hostel meals into haute cuisine overnight, but they can make cooking while travelling that much tastier, easier and more convenient, no matter where in the world you are or what kind of kitchen you end up in.

Hostel kitchens can vary wildly from country to country, city to city and even hostel to hostel.

photo by: hi_finland

We’ve seen kitchens that were spacious and modern and practical beyond my wildest dreams, kitchens that looked like they were built around the time that Karl Marx was getting some funny ideas about how people should own things, and ones that could be generously described as airing cupboards with a fridge and a hotplate.

But no matter how fancy or modern or well-equipped a kitchen may be (or not be), the rules and etiquette never change.

So just remember, don’t be that guy - who takes over all four burners and the bench space while making his three course roast tofurkey dinner, with the fridge door hanging wide open, and lectures me about how I’m messing up his kitchen by daring to want to make pasta at the same time – because I will hit you with my frying pan!

And I mean it!

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