The Cult of Duolingo - An Expose

by Alex in Pre-trip, Language

For the past week or so, some very mysterious emails have been appearing in Tasha's inbox. Sent by an anonymous mister "Duolingo", these daily messages would pop up reminding her to "keep up with Spanish practice", and "make the owl happy." Naturally, the only conclusion I could think of was that my wife has joined a cult, and these were orders being sent out in some kind of brainwash-y code. So of course, I did what any loving, loyal husband would do when an evil cult has a hold of his wife's brain: ignored them. I probably shouldn't have been looking at her emails anyway.

Makes sense to me

But over the following days, the curiosity started to build, gnawing at my gut like a tiny puppy with a string of toy sausages. Who was this mysterious Mr. Duolingo? Why was he sending Tash an email every single day? What did the owl have to do with it all? What kind of name is 'Duolingo' anyway??? Finally, the questions overwhelmed me, and the curiosity became too much. Finding myself home alone one afternoon, I booted up the computer, logged into our email server and opened up today's brainwashing orders. A big green shiny button invited me to "Click here to go to Duolingo", and, drawing on my every reserve of mental fortitude, I did. This took me to the friendly, inviting home page of duolingo.com, where I made 4 very important discoveries.

Discovery #1: 

Duolingo is, in fact, not an evil cult leader. Once I got over my shock and watched their "about us" video, I discovered that it's a free language-coaching site, currently offering courses in French, German, Spanish, Italian and Portuguese. Tash had apparently stumbled onto the site a few days prior to me, signed up and started refreshing her long-lost Spanish skills.

It all seemed harmless enough, but I wasn't ready to put away my torch and pitchfork just yet. Deciding that this could all simply be a clever front, I created an account and logged in, determined to investigate this rabbit hole to the end. When a menu popped up asking me which language I would like to study, I picked Italian at random and moved on to the first lesson.

How hard could it be?

Discovery #2: 

In a surprisingly clever move, the courses on Duolingo have been laid out similarly to a video game. The course is presented as a series of 'levels', each of which contain a number of lessons that need to be passed before you can move on. Within each lesson, you get a certain number of 'lives'. If you get a question wrong, you lose a life, and if you have any lives left at the end, they're converted into bonus points. Speaking as a nerd who loves his video games, this is, to put it bluntly, genius.

With all this wonder before me, my previous, cult-related suspicions vanished like dust into the wind. Eager for both education and the otherwise worthless victory that is finishing a video game level, I dove headfirst into my first Italian lesson, barely able to contain my own excitement.

Discovery #3: 

I suck at Italian.

Like, really suck at Italian.

Level 1 suck.

Finally, frustration got the better of me, and I started to get the hint that maybe Italian wasn't for me. Looking at the other languages that Duolingo offers, I tried my hand at Spanish, French, Portuguese, and then finally German. It was in my fourth German lesson that I made my last discovery.

Discovery #4:

Duolingo may not be a cult, but that doesn't mean there's no brainwashing going on. As I studied my German verbs, I watched my score rise, my progress bar fill, and then it happened. The Holy Grail of all nerd-dom. I leveled up. All at once, I was hooked. Like a pigeon in a Skinner box, pecking over and over in the hopes of reward, I opened another lesson, and then another, and another, all to watch my score climb ever higher and my German level increase. Here we are two days later, and I'm currently a proud and mighty Level 5 German. And yet, I'm still not satisfied. I'm still reaching for the stars, conditioned to strive harder and harder for even higher levels that are ostensibly meaningless. And if I happen to be learning a valuable skill, like another language, in the meantime, then so much the better.

In conclusion, far from being an evil cult, Duolingo is awesome resource for any would-be traveller, or anyone who wants to broaden their horizons, learn a new skill, and...

And...

I can't do it. I can't write, I can't concentrate. The progress bar is calling me.

I have lessons to learn.

I'm going to use this opportunity to zoom in on the leaderboard...*ahem* and who's 400 points ahead.

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